do youu have daa guts to love me

Thursday, March 31, 2005
20:15

had been MIA-ing f0r 3 daes le.
gosh. its juz the startin of the new term n im like exhausted. had orientation for the past few daes. n since i was an ogl. i had to be in sch early n g0 hme v. late. =/ reached h0me b0ut 11 ytd. zzzz. t0dae lectures were b0rin. i nearly fall aslp.
okies nt g0nna bl0g much b0ut the past 3 daes. c0s the pple were rather zzz. maybe its our fault. perhaps nt. wonder where went wrong. but the campfire was GREAT!! hahas. it r0cks.! =P l0ve it.! =)) n my body is aching now. =x
g0nna haf my first ODAC training tml. sat, g0nna g0 east c0ast ba. den next week camp agn. ha. im glad dere r things for mi to do. im glad dere r things to keep mi bz.
i juz feel like slpin. nt wanting to wake up. everything juz seems like a beautiful dream. im physically n emotionally tired. im learning. learning to move on. am i.? im glad u r still my close fren.
todae's 31st. lookin at the calendar i saw the word 20th m0nth. if we were still together, i wonder hw things wld be like. in fact all the last dae of the month on my calendar has sth writen on it. perhaps. i tot tt this wld last.
// any0ne 0f us (Stupid mistake) //
u~ take l0ts 0f care n stay happie. ha. cyaz! i guess i told u all tt i wanted to sae. i hope i did.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Sunday, March 27, 2005
19:12

went to bethany presb. independent church ytd. sth happen b4 i left hse too. sth unexpected?! oh wells. i cant exactly remember wad happen ytd. see i told u i haf bad memory. oh yah i watched a show tt i needa to use my brain to tink. the unforgotten. 0h yeahs. all i did was slp eat n g0 0ut. n watched tv. such a lazy mel. =/
aniwae easter concert was great ytd!! the choir rocks. yu wen n rach were performing. good job gers~!!! *hugs* some other kcpians were performin too. hehes. =))
pple i haf sth to announce.!!!
my hair is kinda black.!!! hahas. my hair sytlist dye it the darkest brown. boi i cant dye it copper. if nt im dead la. lolx. hmm im gonna highlight my hair after a-levels. tats settled. still gt 1 yr plus to go. =D
aniwae i did nth much todae. had been slpin lots the past few daes. dunno y. sometimes. my mind wld juz black out too. i wonder y. but after a while my vision wld be cleared. weird huh. nvmz bout tt. ehhs mom g0nna c0me back frm bangkok tonite.!!! whee. and shes horrible la. she neber call back when shes overseas and my dad calls back everynite la. =x aniwae mi dad gonna go overseas agn. hmm on thursdae. -sigh-
0hyah i got my giordano wristband le.!! thanks jf.! i bought the pink band... love.. hahas. gonna buy more another time.! hehes. =PP and my hp is screwed!! my sms had been lagging f0r 4 h0urs. g00dness. =x s0 pple! s0rrie if i din reply ya kaes? real s0rrie.
i learnt sth frm mi br0 t0dae " bu li shi ai "
slj~ i did ponder bout wad ya gers say. ya ask me wads my next step. cling on? or.. move on? i can tell u im stuck. cling on.? wheres the light. move on? nahz. perhaps for now i will still cling on ba. i shall see wad time do to me. i once tot tt my feelins for him was gone. but i was wrong. cos went sth happens. i realise tt im lyin. lyin to myself. lyin tt it was nt dere. but hw long am i suppose to bluff miself. jess.. i wun let this affect i studies. so dun worry. n bout the few mths n 1 year thingy. perhaps the 1 yr wld happen to mi. no idea. cya gers s00n! haf fun studyin n goin out.!
u~ boi. im sorrie wad i said b4 make u piss off. ( yesh i kn0e im naggy c0s i said s0rry le. =x) but ya. i was rather angry at tt time la. c0s i din kn0e y u d0 c0ntradictin stuffs t0 mi. n yeah. let mi tell u agn. i dun hate u.! instead the opp. is true. i do love u. s0 trust mi. i dunn0 y ya ask b0ut tt hating stuff. perhaps deres a knot in u tats still left untied. im nt sure. all i can sae is. if dere is. untie it. ( mel is assuming stuff agn. oh wells. ) hahas. =P is dere a kn0t in my heart? i guess s0. aniwae i hope ya receive mi reply. i dunn0 wads the reason y u r nt replyin it. perhaps ur fone is wif ur mom. but im sure u haf ur reason behind wad u r doin. i hope ya do reply. cos i wanna hear ur side of the story. cos i wanna knoe wad ya tink too. cos onli by listening to 2 sides of the story can things be solve. i guess im nt the ger who alwaes jump into conclusion animore. from wad had happened between us i learnt to listen to wad each other is tinkin. if nt things wld onli turn worst. aniwae enjoy urself in sch tml! kcpss rox! hahas. =P i l0ve th0se times tt i was dere. haf a gd week ahead. my angel will protect u. take lots of care.! =))
heres a phrase tt i saw when i was reading cleo.

" .. long-term relationship isnt as passionate as it used to be but it doesnt mean that it lose its potential to be exciting forever. "

<3 me if youu dare-`

Saturday, March 26, 2005
18:12

yeahs im back frm jf bdae party.
decided to go dere later while i was bathing. dere were 2 reasons behind it. first i wanted to spent time wif my family since all my relatives came over for bbq. and its nt nice if im the onli one hu is nt arnd. i had fun bbq-ing. i tok nonsense. jumpin arnd. help here n dere. hahas. even my dads fren was like sayin. wa. shes lively. tats gd. den dey were like sayin my cuzzie hu is 1 yr 0lder den mi was more conservative. hahas. was lamin wif mi uncle too. and cousin.! hahas. goodness. the way they sae their stuff was like dere was sth scandalous happening between mi n my super gd cuzzie. hahas. den mi uncle make it sound like he(my uncle) was in love wif mi. g0sh.!! but oh wells. i had fun. at least it took my mind off tinkin tt u like the cutie. the way i feel was like written on mi face. my aunt: y u look so sad.? mi: im tired. =/ wad a lier.!
okies. went jf hse bout 9? g00dness i cant remember. hahas. yc and s0me 0thers were like askin if i was okies. errr.. was rrly everything written on mi face. gosh. nvmz.! hahas. den he called. i met him. i was like damn happie. but on the other hand my mind was tinkin bout the testimonials. i was afriad tt i wld break down agn. but phew.. i din. =)) i shall save the details bout wad happen. hahas. =PP
ehhs. after tt i went back to jf hse. we cut her bdae cake. den i was stoning arnd le. hahas. kept tinkin bout wad happen. okies. u were on my mind the wh0le dae.! hahas. im fine wif it. =)) den i started helpin swt to untangle the blu string. i had lots of fun doin tt. dunno y but i njoy.! we toked den we slept bout 2 plus. okies. i did. i was rather tired. onli slm stayed 0ver. f00 vern jane n sean went hme late. but f00 went 0ff the latest. hehes. and here im back home.! hahas. g0nna g0 0ut f0r easter thingy s00n.
sljtyk~ hahas. thanks f0r everything. thanks f0r t0kin t0 mi.! *hugs*
u~ i was happie tt i met u. hahas. i was glad tt we pop that thingy together. i wanna thank you f0r ytd! it was great. u make mi nite.! =)) i rrly h0pe t0 cya s00n.! is tt possible.? hahas. perhaps f0r breakfast tml? oh wells. aniwae thanks f0r clearin mi d0ubts. im happie. i din kn0e hw t0 ask but u started tt cutie. hahas. thanks!!!! =P u read my mind.! im glad another knot is untangle. u ask n say. "i tot u hate mi?" i admit i was shock tt u ask. but heys i hope u r alwaes tt frank n open wif mi.! hehes. u see i din expect u to ask. s0 yeahs my mind was like in a mess. but here goes the reply. yeps. i admit tt i hated u and dislike u. bout 1 mth n 1 dae b4 todae. but its nt U tt i hate n dislike. it was the contradicting things tt u do tt hurt mi so deep. but i gt no idea why after a while i stop feelin tt way. and i mean a while (bout 30 mins) instead i cont likin u. dere was no hatred n anger animore. perhaps tts love. dunn0 if u ever feel tt way. and now im tellin u. i dun HATE u. instead. i LOVE u. ( p.s. if u r nt him n u r reading wad i type den hmm dun c0mment anithing bout this.? hahas. c0s its juz wad i feel. ) n i mean wad i sae. yesh. i do love u. lots n lots. thanks for nt makin mi mind wander arnd. i will alwaes remember f0r all that we d0. f0r the nites n dae we spent..i will cont to keep it in my heart. a place where no1 can steal it awy frm mi. take lots of care. cont smiling. cya.! iiu.

im hopin tt things wld return to the past. the feelings wld be back. but i shall juz let nature takes its course.

zai wo zhe yi shen wo zi hui wei yi ge ren chi qing.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Friday, March 25, 2005
11:36

HAPPY BDAE JF.!!!

cya later.
u~ yeps. so u r in love wif a cutie.? ehhs. nth to sae. other den cool.?! nahz. i dunno. but i guess it shld be true ba. it shall be ur choice to tell mi. juz happie fallin in love ba. yeahs. once u lost him u will lose him forever. guess its rather true.?! im tryin to forget wad i read. cos i feeel like crap. haf fun todae.

im tryin nt to break down agn. but when it comes to u. i juz crumble n fall

<3 me if youu dare-`

Thursday, March 24, 2005
21:13

juz a word of caution. this entry is gonna be long.

EDWIN W. WE'LL MISS YA.!!!! =D

din had sch todae. but still i woke up at 630 t0 g0 sch. gt ogl meetin. whee~! =)) though somethings happen but still it was fun cheerin n dancing!! =D played hopscotch. cool~ n guys seem to betta den gers. =x

after tt went airport. cos edwin gonna go jakarta den usa. sigh. all of us r gonna miss him. miss his "gayness" n him doin farnie stuffs. l0lx. i kn0e ya wun be readin this. aniwae take lots of care.! cya durin august.!!! =)) aniwae its the 2nd time this yr i went to send a fren off. the 3rd time in my wh0le life. the feelin is alwaes the same. every0ne even guys alwaes get emotiional at the very last moment. pple. *hugs*smile.!!! =) things come n go. but all tt matters r tt u all leave footprints in the hearts of each other. n remember each other.!

aniwae had swensens for lunch. den after gg to the airport. all of us kinda went in diff. direction. jessn mi kinda roam ard orchard for bout an hour plus. before headin back to bishan to buy things. met swt later too. help her buy s0me things fr0m popular. met some kcpians todae too. hmm pple like alicia. jia yu. n i cant remember hu. l0lx. =P

aniwae we went to church to pass swt her stuff. den we cross over to kcpss. saw l. tan dere. tok to him for a while. gosh! i rrly miss kcpss. the feelin it gifs mi is so different. i dunno y. being back dere i alwaes feel home. sometimes i dun even wanna leave. perhaps nt leavin the sch, things might be different for mi now. -sigh- yeahs mi n jess was sitting at the assembly plaza. lookin at the sky. at least i was. the stars were beautiful.! the moon was nice. the whole sch looks great. i love being at kcpss!! =D feel s0 attached t0 the place. no idea y. stars...u... aniwae dad fetch mi n jess home after tt.

oh yeahs.! f0rget t0 bl0g sth b0ut ytd.! hahas. met rebecca ( mi pri sch bez fren) at mjc. hahas. she's appealin dere. did some catchin up. i miss tt ger. =)) alll the bez to u and ur boi boi.! oh yeahs took ht and wt ytd t00.! n guess wad. i l0st 3kg la.!! hahas. i wonder if im suppose to be proud of miself. cos this is the lightest weight i ever had ever since i enter kcpss n mjc. so imagine. perhaps. durin this 3 mths. l0ts had happen. i did l0se mi appetite. i did feel abit stress. troubled n stuff. but oh wells. i shld try to gain abit if wt back. =/ buffet n bbq tml.!! =pP i wonder if it works.

shu yi~ hahas. cya 0n m0ndae.! take l0ts 0f care. n yeah we shld gif n take. i kn0e ya did ur bez.! =)) thanks ger.! =D *hugs*

galvin~ yeah read ur bl0g. s0rrie b0ut the unif0rm thingy. din kn0e ya wanna c0me al0ng but ya. ya kn0e i am frank n h0nest rite?! s0 here it g0es. to mi. i felt dere wasnt a nid to sae. forget it. dun wanna tok to u le. i mean its aint mi fault. but yeah s0rrie we din tell u. aniwae it take 2 hands t0 clap. perhaps u felt left out t00 much tats y u exploded at 1 g0. like mi grp of frens. we take turns to feel left out. but we r open. we discuss bout it. s0 dun keep everything to urself. wad r frens f0r rite?! hehes. n yeah. sy did her bez t0 tok to u le. i salute her la. s0 yeahs. gif n take tats the way it shld be. n i kn0e ya did la. at ani pt 0f time ya feel left out tell 1 0f us hw u feel kaes? n u r nt taggin al0ng.!!! dun feel tt way. =) hahas. cl0se frens f0reva.! my dear gang in mjc rocks can!! s0 yeah.! if we dun understand anithing tell us.! we cant read guys mind ya kn0e. hahas. express urself.!! hehes. aniwae take care n haf tml.!!

u~ hahas. ya make mi dae.!! okies. nite n dae. c0s i felt rather happie n enthu t0dae. 0h wells. l0lx. haf fun tokin. glad tt at least we r still tokin like frens. aniwae. as wad i sae dun b0ttle things up.!! nid a listening ear can alwaes find mi la. hahas. =D and yeah i kn0e see first. seems like lots of things haf happen in these 3 mths huh. 0h yah!! take care of ur health.! muz learn to take care of urself kaes?! though u kn0e i wld like to do tt. hahas. im being t00 open. g00dness.! but tats mi. s0 yeahs.! im glad ya told mi things. i kn0e at times ya hesistated but actuallie dere wasnt a nid to. rrly. im fine wif everything. =)) i kn0e we r 0nli frens nw n i guess tats the way u r treating mi nw?! s0 yah. i will watch mi limits. i h0pe everything will g0 sm00thly f0r u. in studies. family. frens. everything la.! oh yeah. hahas. been l0ng since i see u play s0ccer huh. but 0h wells. happie tt u r finally playin agn. after quite l0ng?!? hahas. active boi.! =D tats u.!! realise u said l0ts 0f see first. but its okies. i will catch up wif ya another dae.! if we r fated u will pick up the f0ne de la. im damn exhausted nw. g0nna g0 rest le. still gnna send m0m t0 airport at 6am. will be at jf hse. bout the bb card i will msg ya tml?! haf fun at ur klass outing n hangin out wif ur frens.! take care.! will be stayin over at her hse tml. so yeahs. if u read this n u r hme. gif mi a msg ba. den i pass the card to u? if nt u meet jf?! hahas. will msg n tell u. iiu. cya! =) nites boi!! sweet dreams.! =D g0sh this is s0 l0ng.! h0n0ured mahz?! -bleahz-

<3 me if youu dare-`

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
21:03

im feelin rather tired todae. gettin irritated quite easily. to all hu suffered from mi attitude. im sorry kaes.! =)) forgive mi.?? aniwae wads up wif pple msgin in the middle of the nite ytd.? i din had a gd slp la. fone keep ringing non stop. n everytime it rings i wake up. den i wld throw the fone somewhere. *violent mi*
aniwae i was late on the first dae of sch. forthe ogl thingy. sigh. notti siaz.but it aint mi fault. first 105 bus came at 630 s0 hw am i supp0se t0 reach sch at 7.?! uness i take a cab?!?! =/ nvmz bout tt. sch ended at 5 f0r mi. had debrief and stuff. im shagged. i nids0me space t0breathe. l0ts 0f things kinda happen t00. my dears shld kn0e wad i mean. i nid s0me space. s0 u. plsss gif mi s0me space!! plsss?? hahas.
aniwae the m0ment i reached h0me. i had t0 get 0ut 0f hse agn t0 pick br0. g0sh. den yeah. i juz had t0 read s0me testimonials. urs. i feel the pinch. i dunn0. stupid heart of mine. slap mi. sigh. knock some senses into my head pls.. hahas. tats all. i nid to do some stuff. n do some online registration. byes!
galvin shu yi clareta~ thank f0r all ur help. i kn0e i l00k tired n piss. or wadeva. im sorry. too mani things. stress la. hahas. love yapeeps aniwae. cya tml.!
u~ okies.im gonna do sth n i hope u wun get a shock. l0lx. 0h wells.! cya s00n.!take cares n hmm drink lots of water. hehe. =)) haf a gd nite rest okies.?! aniwae i tink MLTR song is nt bad.! hahas. n ahem! i tink s0me1 mei li quite big huh. hahas. =pP cya!!

" i believe in miracles, out of the rainbow i will see" iiu. =D

<3 me if youu dare-`

Tuesday, March 22, 2005
22:32

yeps. i end up gg out wif mi dears todae. went out wif galvin, shu yi, claresta n nicholas. yeahs. went to watch robots at cine. goodness. but its the first time tt i step in dere to watch a show ever since jan 19. oh wells. the feelin is definetly different. i tried nt lettin mi mind wonder arnd too much. aniwae robots is a damn farnie sh0w s0 g0 watch kaes? hahas. g0nna make this entry sh0rt c0s im tired n i nid t0 reach sch by 7 tml.!!!! n0 transport provided. reason being, dads nt back in spore.! hahas. =)) i miss him. at least i get to see him tml. n when hes back. mom is leving f0r bangkok on fri. but at least mi dad takes the effort to call home every nite to tok to mom. how sweet can dey get. *im jealous* hahas. kidding.!
oh yeahs.! sljm was cancelled. =( but nvmz im gonna meet dem soon.! hahas. oh eahs! after the sh0w. we went to walk aarnd. hahas. walk till forum. toys r us. okies. memories came back agn. i still remember the first time we went dere together to buy our bro xmas prezzie. hahas. =)) enuff of tt. next we took walk to orchard den took mrt to dhoby ghaut. claresta alighted at somerset. cuz dad fetchin her back~ lucky ger. hahas. mi galvin shu yi n nich went ps den walk ard. supp0se t0 haf dinner out. but end up eatin at home. hehes. wad a gd ger. =P 0h yeahs.! i still wan tt band. wadver u called it. saw some nice ones at gio. but i haf to purchase sth b4 i can buy the band at $2. gosh.! -.-"" -sigh- dream bubble burst! hahas. n wads up wif guys nt lettin the gers to pay huh.! hahas. *ahem* l0lx. izzit a guys thing? l0lx. shuyi.!! hahas.
aniwae went arcade for a while den headed back home. me andy later in the nite to pass in some of mi textbooks. i hope i din scribble anithing in dere. cos its last yr textbks.! if nt im gonna be so pai sehz la.! =x
oh yeahs. i juz finish doin mi mmm thingy. phew~ n im gonna go off to bed le. so gd nites.! cya peeps arnd. im glad everyone manage to go to their jc/poly course dey wanted. l0ve ya all.!! =D
shu yi. claresta. galvin. nich~ hey ppl! i haf fun todae.! kept luffin the wh0le dae~! =PP aniwae thanks huh. we shall haf another outin s00n? okies. ya peeps take cares. n nich haf fun in yjc.! =)
slj~ cya peeps s00n! take l0ts 0f care.!
u~ hahas. s0 h0ws life? great? hahas. yeahs. sometimes i nid a listening ear like u. but u were neber online. perhaps u block mi. wanted to msg. but hesisated. dunno y. in the past u were alwaes dere to help mi when im faced wof troubles. now. w/o u i feel kinda lost. nt knowin wad to do. i nid my compass back~!!! =)) aniwae nites agn.! take l0ts 0f care.!

u can shine no matter wad u r make of!

who is ur heart beating for. wads eternity?

<3 me if youu dare-`

Monday, March 21, 2005
21:31

im finally done wif my mmm thingy. if ya r wondering wad is mmm. its a game we r playin during orientation.! wheee~! okies. postin results r comin out tml i hope everyone will be able to get into the jc/poly n course dey want.
hahas. i stone at home todae. watched vcd n some cartoons. wanted to write my diary but i din feel like it. dunno y. oh yeahs.! i pick mi br0 up fr0m child care.! hahas. he make mi carry his gold bag all the way home. gosh! =x yeps, met sherman at the bus stop while walkin home wif mi bro.! yc.!! i gt sth to tell ya.! my bro sae sherman nice lookin.! ahahas. =PP hehes.
okies this is the 2nd time tt happen this mth le. first was the construction worker tt zoot mi. irritating.! den todae gt this stupid guy on the bike. driving half way den zoot.! !@#%$^ sickening la. i dislike it can. stop zooting.! i cut awy ur tongue den u knoe. hahas. kidding. im nt tt evil.
and i still dunn0 where im gg tml. nt sure whether im gg out wif my 3dears or my jie meis. gosh. n the gers r nt replyin mi. hahas. =)) nvmx. aniwae i g0nna meet yl f0r breakfast tml.! whee~! hahas. g0nna haf fun tokin to her la. hahas.
i had a nightmare. i dreamt tt u and her were together. tats the w0rst nightmare i can get. i dunn0 wad t0 sae. and when i slept back. i dreamt tt we get back together. its contradicting huh. and its freaky. i hate dreams.! c0s dreams aint real n dey r n0rmally different from reality. but still. i dun mind cont dreaming.! =)) hahas.
nich0las~ dun tink t00 much kaes? miracles might happen.! u wun l0se c0ntact wif ani0ne. b0ut thursdae. i will tell ya on wed. hahas. dun w0rry. =)) cya~
galvin n shu yi~ hope i will get to meet ya peeps tml.! cyaz.! l0ve ya all!
slj~ i dunn0 whether we r meetin tml nt. but still i h0pe t0 cya gers s00n.l0ve ya and take cares.! -hugs-
!@#$&%&%* i hate mi hp.! it alwaes hang when i send sms out. im damn piss.! arrrhggghhh.. nvmz. i shld calm down.
u~ hahas. h0pe ya haf fun in sch tml.! take l0ts 0f care.! =)) cya.! -my star- shall type m0re t0 ya tml. c0s im freakin piss.

i doubt i can find another u.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Sunday, March 20, 2005
21:28

kite flyin is cool.! hahas. its nice l00kin at the kites flying high up in the sky. they seem s0 free.! frenn from worries. =)) aniwae met slj. ester n heryi. we went t0 b0wl n play p00l first. after tt jf left us first cuz she gt dinner. den the rest of us went to fly kite.!! hahas. and i saw this winnie the pooh kite tt i like.!!! hahas. its s0 damn cute.! =P aniwae joseph join us for kite flyin bout 6? n0 idea. hahas. her yi n j0seph damn cartoon la.! keep makin us luff.! ya peeps haf to be dere to understand wad i mean man. jj join us for dinner too. we went to zheng fa huo hai xian!!! stemboat!! hahas. n ther prawns tt dey gave us r alive.! juz imagine u put them into the pot of soup while its alive n their eyes r lookin at u. =x gosh. dinner was fun other den the butter keep hmm splatterin.( did i use the rite word?! ) n yesh nw i gt a scar on my hand thanks to the butter tt splatter at mi. arrgghh. but nvm. hahas.hope it will be gone soon. oh yeah.! i ate lots of gong gong last nite too.. yummy.! but heys! im nt gong yet.! =/ after dinner we went to play pool agn. den head back home. phew~ im lucky man. mange to catch the last nel train. but... i miss the last 105 bus. s0 yeah. can imagine h0w late i went h0me last nite. bout 12 plus. cos i miss the bus i had to walk home al0ne. while walkin i tot of u. its juz seems so natural to tink of u. and somehow i din felt afraid or scared. u juz occupy my mind. i tot of the times tt we walk back home together when we miss our last bus. o wells. and yesh 987fm is playin my happie ending now. goodness. what a nice timing. =x all i did at home todae was to slp eat watch tv.! how boring. nt gg sch tml too. so peeps if ya r bored can msg mi tml.! hehes. =/ gd nites!
galvin~ hahas. i expected u will ask bout tt black part. hmm yeahs. n u shld understand le. sorrie. nt gonna go sch tml n i knoe ya peeps will miss mi.? gif my pillar a hug kaes.? kidding.! =P
nich0las~ hey! hmm thanks f0r all the nice offers. =) ) ya shld knoe wad i mean. hahas. and yesh. heres ur slpin pill.! l0lx. =) s0 sh00! g0 rest nw.!
u~ schs startin tml.! a brand new term. h0pe its g0nna be gd f0r ya.! hope ya din feel wierd readin wad i type ytd. n im sorrie if ya did. aniwae its been long since i gave u gd nite manners huh. so here it goes. gd nite boi.! slp tight! sweet dreams.! dun roll of the bed.! tug u into bed.! take care.! uliumi.! hahas. ( its gonne be abit farnie if i add s0me things here.so yeah! )

i nid a miracle. i wanna be ur girl.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Saturday, March 19, 2005
13:36

HEFFALUMP.
okies. i hope i get the name rite. but yeah. the show is nice. hahas. had fun bombarding jg hse too. had hor fun for dinner. whee! thanks jf.! aniwae im gg kite flyin later. my first time.!!! hahas. hmm b0ught sljm pencil case ytd! =)) hehe. u gers betta use it wherever u g0 kaes? -hugs- b0ught a BNG wallet t00. but im still g0nna c0nt usin the precious thots wallet.!! =D s0 n0w i haf 2 wallets.! juz like swt! hahas. had "confessions" at jf hse. okies. nt exactly. but we tok bout how we feel n stuff.. im glad ya told us the truth.! we will haf more outings and all the 4 0f us will be dere. s0rry f0r lettin ya feel tt way. i rrly treasure this frenship.!! =)) love ya gers.
okies. the next part is gonna be long. ya all can dun read. its ur choice. i knoe u might nt wanna read it nor hear bout it. u might even want mi to stop tokin bout it. but since this is my blog juz let mi type out how i feel kaes. i dun wanna bottle things up. n i wanted to find a listening ear. but... yah.
i dunn0 b0ut u gers. but walkin past dere i feel rather.. yah. its juz such a normal thing to do. to look at whether the lights r on n stuff. to wonder whether u r hme. i juz cant help tinkin. the feelin of being so near yet so far aint tt gd too. its den tt i realise. i hadnt exactly cr0ss this bridge of mine. in fact after nearly 2 mths. i still miss ya. yeps. like wad ya said ya had n0 m0re feelings for mi. n yah i shld move on. but somehow the feelings arent dying. lookin at stuff n tokin bout u seems juz a normal thing to do. its also u tt make mi bleaf in fate. its u tt make mi feel tt miracles do happen. how i wish its u tt msg. its u tt care for mi. i tried to love u less by tinkin of the contradicting things tt u did to mi. but it doesnt help. it doesnt make my love for u lesser. it doesnt make mi hate u. in fact when i tink back of wad ya did. im nt even angry. i dun even seem to mind. i dunno y. y is my heart still beating for ya. y do i still long for ya. y y y ??? will fate ever do any miracles to mi.? im amazed by h0w i can actuallie cont lovin u w/o tokin or msging u for so long. how long is this gonna take mi.? i wonder. dere r so mani things tt i wanna sae tt i wanna type. but i juz cant find the right words to describe. ~~

<3 me if youu dare-`

Friday, March 18, 2005
11:27

i shall blog sth short now since im nt bloggin tonight.
im suppose to slp early last nite. but thanks to someone. hahas. and my stupidbiological alarm clock juz haf to wake mi up at 9am la.! zzz. hahas. we r g0nne b0mbard jf hse later.!! g0nna haf dinner dere n watch our 9pm channel 8 sh0w. its the last episode ya see. hehes. we r hardcore fans.! okies. at least mi n jess are. l0lx. =P den after the sh0w we will be heading back h0me.?! l0lx. s0 nt fair la the 2 0f dem r stayin in sin ming la. n mi in serangoon.! hahas. so yeah. h0me al0ne.! but its okies. aniwae i decided to skip breakfast. g0nna g0 meet swt f0r brunch later. this entry is gettin abit boring. s0 tats all.! pooh bear here i coming..!!!!!!!! whee! =D
p.s. hey peeps if posting results r comin out earlier plss msg n tell mi k? i haven been reading the papers recently. =x ( deres no way i can pass my GP )
u~ hahas. we shall see whether we get to meet later. o wells. at least i blog tt im gg dere. and u wun get a "shock" if u suddenly see mi dere. hahas. oh man im startin to tok nonsense. aniwae cya around.! haf fun.! somehow. i feel tt my heart still beats for ya. i wonder y. perhaps i juz nid more time.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Thursday, March 17, 2005
21:13

NO more SHOES for the next few daes.
tats it. im startin to get blisters AGAIN.! zz. had been gettin blisters since the startof this yr. n i dun like it.! cos it hurts la. aniwae, shuyi. thanks for bringing the plasters. =D hehe.
yeps. i spent my this whole hols in sch. went back to sch for ogl thingy todae. but i left bout 130pm. hahas. guess wad.?! i miss my 1020am bus todae AGAIN.! its the second time in 2 days le. so i walk from my hse to interchange again. n when i reached the interchange i see the bus 81 zoom pass. zzz. sice i was almost late for the ogl meeting. i ran from the interchange to the next bus stop( the one beside the mrt) juz to catch the 81 bus. thank goodness. i din miss it this time. this is juz like life. sometimes when u miss somethings u can neber get it back. but if u r lucky n pursue hard u might juz get it back. okies. nvm. im utterin nonsense.
aniwae i went to j8 after ogl thingy to watch movie wif my lame partner. nich. hahas. the show is farnie la. hahas. okies. at least i thought it was. =)) l0lx. oh yah. n he took out his contacts at KFC.!!! s0 pai seh la. thank g00dness n0 0ne was l00kin k.?! hahas ( told u i wld blog bout this =D ) met his fren n some KCP peeps dere too. after tt. i went home.! s0 here i am.!
whee~! cant wait to meet jess. jf. n swt. tml. hahas. gonna go watch mi winnie the pooh sh0w tml.!!!! yeahs.! u gers r0x man.! hahas. * hehes. if the sh0w is nice. i dun mind watching agn. its pooh bear. !!! *
[ im still craving for yummy fruit juice n my sweet!! ] l0lx. channel 8,9pm sh0w is nice man. im addicted to it. h0w i wish dere was s0me one t0 share my joy n s0rr0ws wif. how i wish tt s0me0ne wld deliver my fav. breakfast to mi early in the m0rn. h0w i wish..... * im daydreamin again..* slap mi. hahas.
shuyi~ hahas. thanks darling f0r the 0ffer. i h0pe ya had fun t0dae! =)) yeahs.! remember. movie next week. l0lx.
galvin~ thanks man.! u r such a gd "dear".!! =)) hahas. cya s00n.! thanks l0ts.!
nich0las~ yesh.. deres s0me0ne fliming in the toilet.. zzz thank g00dness i din bleaf ya totally la. if nt im g0nna be s0 pai seh la. hahas. aniwae i enj0yed miself t0dae. 2 hours at j8. l0lx.l oh yeah.! dun change ur contacts in KFC animore hoh. =x ppllss.. hahas. ur face look so red todae. hahas. the next moment its gonna peel. betta put some aloe vera h0h.!! the liquid de. nt the s0lid 0ne.! u kn0e wad i mean.
u~ sometimes i feel like u r my angel. hahas. dunno y. nvm bout tt.! =)) hahas. w0nder h0ws ur life n0w.? hmm h0pe things in ur family r gettin okies. aniwae. nid a listening ear juz gof mi a call ba. haf fun! cya.! =D catch up wif ya some other day! take lots of care.! =))

<3 me if youu dare-`

Wednesday, March 16, 2005
20:49

CAMP IS OVER.!
okies. break camp bout 4pm ytd. hahas. but i stayed in sch till bout 725pm. was chatting wif shu yi n claresta. did some catchin up.! =D whee~ i miss tokin to ya gers. aniwae camp was FUN.!! hahas. OGLS ROX.! but...!! REGULUS IS BETTA.!! =)) played MMM, KYC and Wet and Wild during the 1 1/2 dae camp. though its short, but it was fantastic.! ( i tink i gt darker) as usual, my voice is rather sore now. hahas. but wad to do. i love cheering.! i love camp.! -bleahz- =pP shall nt sae much bout the camp. other than. this s the worst camp food i ever had. n i mange to slp on the first nite.!! =D 0h yah.! n its my first time entering the guy's toilet.! hahas. t0 bathe.! and g0sh.its dirty.! but hu cares. at least i gt to bathe! hehe.
had t0 rep0rt back to sch at 11 for ogl dance todae. okies nt many went. but still its fun. we learnt a new dance ( lets get it started- black eye peas) im kinda addcited to it le. hehe. den we dance mambo. and 2 couple dance. i forget the names of the song le. =/ oops. aniwae reach home bout 8. had to stay back to do identities. cards. l0lx. we had fun dancing too.! =pP whee.! hope i wun be too bz till i cant ctach a movie this week.
0h yeah.! met yL at my c0nd0 last nite. had a gd time catchin up wif her. whee! its been l0ng. yeps we tok bout u and mi. bout sch. everything. yeahs. she was quite shock things turn out this way too. but still. i dunno la. "learnt" bout sth too. i dunno whether to sae its gd or bad. but im gonna sae if i were in ur shoes. its too big a sacrifice to make. cant u juz be selfish for once.?!
juz a thought. gt a missed call. private no. i wonder hu call.? izzit u?! cant be my aunt ba.
[ im craving for fruit juice n MEIJI grape gummy. ] hahas.
shuyi~ hey ger. thanks for all tt u haf tell mi the past few daes. cya another dae. if possible, lets catch a show together. hahas. im dating u online.! arent u honoured.?
nicholas~ hey.! sorrie ah. was suppose to go dinner wif ya ytd. but in the end din go. tt goes the same for todae. but todae is worst cos i ps PJ. =/ s0rry.!!! aniwae gd luck f0r tml tennis.! jia you! n i hope u stop merlion-ing le.
u~ h0pe u r doin fine n enjoyin urself. =D n for the decision u make. i respect u. *salute* c0s i wldnt d0 tt. i wld haf been selfish. perhaps tats nt the onli reason ba. ha. aniwae i dunno whether ya understand wad i mean mahz. but if ya understand den tats gd.! happie chiong-ing the last few daes of hols. cya,boy.! take lots of care. =D

<3 me if youu dare-`

Sunday, March 13, 2005
21:50

great. im ALMOST d0ne wif my packin.! =)) hahas. shall summarise wad happen todae den c0nt t0 pack my bag den slp le. s0 here it g0es.
wake up damn early t0 g0 k0van BK t0 eat breakfast wif br0 n m0m. after tt send br0 t0 abacus klass. ha. mi n m0m st0ne ar0und f0r a while b4 we decided t0 cut our hair todae.! l0lx. n yeps. i sat at the sal0n f0r b0ut an h0ur plus doing treatment,cutting, washing n blowing.=x 0h yesh! this is the sh0rtest hair length tt i ever cut ever since i kept l0ng hair.! -.-"" but its bel0w sh0ulder. s0 yah. came back h0me after sh0ppin round heartland mall. and i gt the kovan previledge card.!! *winkx* =D hahas. watch tv den i started packin my stuff. s0 yah. g0sh. my dads nt in t0wn s0 i gt t0 wake up early t0 g0 sch tml. nid t0 be dere by 735!! =x my maternal grandma came 0ver t0 my hse t0dae t00. whee~!~! n my dad l0st his specs the m0ment he reach shanghai. ( it g0t bl0wn awy by the wind ) -sigh- nvm.! we shall get it replaced f0r him. =D
oh yeah.! i will be g0ne f0r b0ut 2 daes. havin OGL camp. s0 yeah. will update after my camp.! if deres anithing juz sms mi.! hp is kinda like a muz in this camp. hahas. =))
i was sending my grandma t0 the gate t0night when i raised my head n l00ked at the sky. i saw many stars. beautiful stars. memories came back. as usual. i saw the brightest one. and i saw the 0ne tt was u. i wonder if u r lookin at the sky now. if u r, wad r u tinking. take lots of care.! =D
galvin~ yeps. dun c0mplain tt i din type t0 u. s0 here it g0es.! hahas. haf fun in the camp tml.! l0lx. ehhs. i dunn0 wad else t0 sae le. hahas. hmm happie holidaes.! lets torture the rest like mad. remember dey haf to please us. hahas. =Pp kidding.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Saturday, March 12, 2005
22:27

rotting. ha. 1 word to describe miself todae.
stayed home the wh0le dae t0dae.! m0m was surprised tt i din go out. l0lx. hmm was watching tv. playin com n chattin the wh0le dae. hahas. jess came 0ver in the afternoon to get an ice box from mi. her CG klass havin chalet this week, u see. =D aniwae. haf fun ger.!
dads g0nna g0 0verseas f0r 10 daes tml morn.! g0sh. im s0 g0nna miss him la. n n0 0ne is g0nna fetch mi t0 sch when sch re opens. n its s0 b0red t0 g0 sch al0ne.!! hahas. oh yeah.! i nid t0 g0 0ut.!! rrly. deres t00 many sh0ws tt i wanna watch le. but n01 t0 watch wif. luckily the gers promise to watch 1 sh0w wif mi.!! hehes. n i suddenly feel like playin pool.! =P guess tats all f0r n0w. g0nna g0 slp n eat Bk breakfast tml.! whee! *vanish*
glad to receive ur msg to knoe tt u still read. =D hahas. n yeps. i guess ya din reply. aniwae its okies. guess its either u din reply or either of one our phones r screwed up. assumtion : we r still frens?! no idea. aniwae happie holidaes to u.!! hope ya did well for ur common test. now, u deserve to haf fun n a gd break. if ya din do well for ur common test, den jia you kaes.? dun gif up!
nich0las~ hahas. i bl0g le.! l0lx. =P this feels lame. but wadeva. hope ya njoy ur violin lessons todae. thanks for tt entertainment. hahas.
shuyi~ whee!! cant wait to meet ya on mondae.!! its been l0ng.! miss u.! =D
slj~ movie movie movie.! happie holidaes.! jf n swt. happie workin.! jess! happie slackin.! no more pon-ing of sch after first 3 mths h0h.! =p other den sending edwin off. l0lx. cyaz.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Friday, March 11, 2005
22:19

im back.! did ani0ne miss mi.? hahas. =Pp
hadnt been bloggin f0r 2 daes. i dunn0 y. juz din felt like it.? hahas. maybe c0s i kn0e tt u might nt be reading it le s0 i din bl0g.?! n0 m0tivation.
aniwae i shall summarse wad happen..
-wednesday-
skipped cca. went out after school. slack arnd. oh yah.! the show was nice. ha. dun mind watching it the second time.! =pP thanks f0r the action city thingy. i cant recall wad happen le.
-thursday-
left sch earlier. hahas. b0ut 330. hmm i tink i went h0me straight after sch. cant remember wadhappen la.! tink i went h0me t0 st0ne n r0t.!
-friday-
t0dae.!!! hahas. had ogl meeting at 1130. was supp0se t0 leave sch at 930 la. c0s less0ns end le.! but den.. ya.. went t0 aljunied to buy pain for ogl thingy wif claresta n galvin. hahas. we walked the wh0le 0f geylang 21A n we finally f0und tt place.! l0lx. and yesh.! we suan claresta all the way 0n the mrt. she nearly 'died' la. =pP yeps. i was lamin arnd the wh0le dae. ever since m0rn. hahas. pei jun cldnt t0lerate my lame-ness can. s0 i decided t0 syc0pei yi wif my lame-ness. hahas. i bet i brighten up their dae wif my lameness. was damn happy t0dae la. every0nes like.. wads wrong wif u.? why s0 active n stuff.? hahas. its juz the last dae 0f sch la. aniwae i met swt jess and val for dinner. met yw at j8 too.! its been long since i met her. promise i will try to call to ur easter concert k.? =D ehhs after dinner we wallked ard n yeps. im back home. i lame abt wif the gers too. as usual. hahas. shall leave out bout the An Zhengxi thingy.! okies. hope to cya peeps on fri.! take care.! -hugs-
heres sth tt i cr8 t0dae... u r juz a kid. n ur level of argument is below the pit. does it rhyme? i cr8 it for claresta this afternooon. l0lx. l0ng story.!

jf~ hey ger.! hmm take care kaes.! l0ve ya.!
jess swt n val~ thanks f0r acc0mpanyin mi t0dae.! =D
galvin~ s0rrie to ps u. but im glad u haf a nice time.!
nich0las~ get ur c0urage back.! *mel screams* hahas. jia you.! =)

<3 me if youu dare-`

Tuesday, March 08, 2005
20:42

back from sch.! great.! im now suddenly the games i/c f0r all 3 games. n0nsense can. hahas. which means i dun get to interact much wif my OG peeps. damn sadz la. ogl camp is gonna be on next mon n tues.! yipppes..!
schs boring todae. econs teacher kinda pin point mi agn la. sianz. ask mi go draw the graph thingy n i totally gt no idea wad she is tokin bout. thank goodness gt pei yi's paper wif mi. hahas. thanks ger.! w/o ur graph i might haf died. i tot juz drawin the graph will do. next she wanted mi to xplain. i was like.. wth.. i dun even knoe wad the graph is tokin bout la. hahas. so i utter rubbish n wif some help frm pei yi. she kept tellin mi the answers.! thanks ah.! n yesh. tats how i gt through my econs lessons w/o gettin scolding. lolx. IM NOT TAKIN ECONS SO SOP ASKIN MI QUENS LA.!!! =/
my parents seem serious bout sendin mi to finland f0r a week plus f0r an international camp. shld i go.? yeps. i nid a break frm here. but.. do i rrly wanna go.? -sigh-
sometimes i juz hate myself. i hate myself for lettin my mind tink of u. i dislike it when i had to shed tears. i dunno wad im tinkin. im tryin to be strong. rrly. im tryin my bez. i try hard nt to let sadness invade mi. but s0meh0w it alwaes failed. i admit that the reason behind mi alwaes wanna go out late. is tt i wanna get my mind off u. gg out wif frens. i wldnt tink of anithing. i nid to keep myself bz. but hw long is this gonna last.? i feel like a fool.?!

<3 me if youu dare-`

Monday, March 07, 2005
19:12

HAPPY BDAE ZIYA.!

okies.i hope i din get the bdae ger name wrongly. =) sorrie if i did kaes. aniwae. as usual. i skipped sch agn. n i haf yet to type out the letterS la. (notice the S word. im suppose to gif 2 letters.) so lazy. hahas. met the jess n swt for lunch at cartel. jf workin.was lamin ard. hahas. b4 tt. went to meet xl to get the bb card. hahas. s0rrie jess hai ni gt the card too.! met ian hamzah val mel at mac. but the bdae ger was missin la. n we tot it was mels bdae. h0w dumb.! =x hahas. saw russ jeremy n co. talk f0r a while wif dem.! =D after tt we went to cartel to wait for swt. den ed join us nt long later. hahas. gonna watch a movie wif dem tml.! hope i can make it. cos i totally forget theres an ogl meeting tml la.! =/ stm. cannot blame.! =pP tats all f0r n0w. h0pe ya peeps like mi new bl0gskin.! its juz conincidence tat its "our" song but i rrly l0ve this skin n its nt entirely bout l0ve. =)) most importantly. i love the song l0ts. its my fav. ! =D

nich~ thanks f0r the m0rn msg. n the choice is urs.! t0 let g0 0r nt.

boy~ yeps. guess ya came online on the weekend. hahas. but its either i din notice or u block mi. aniwae its okies. =))

slj~ cya gers tml.!!!! ahahs. m0vie outing.! =D

<3 me if youu dare-`

Sunday, March 06, 2005
22:57

HAPPY BDAE RUSSELL.!!

hahas. aint i nice to remember its his bdae? hahas. nonsense.
okies. i stone at home the whole dae. rottin le. thank goodness i'm gonna meet swt for lunch tml.! lol. skippin sch agn.! yups. aniwae my throat is givin mi some probx too. i nid some strepsils badly!! l0lx. =P this whole weekend is kinda unproductive. all i did was watch tv. msn. sleep. eat. n lame on the fone. tats all.! so boring la. hahas.
wanted to change my blogskin but.. all the nice blogskins r bout love. its either im missin u, if nt im lovin u. n im nt a ger who lets u break my heart. gosh. i shall wait for nicer blogskins to appear. hahas.
guess wad?! my hp din ring the wh0le dae t0dae.! feel s0 weird! its been f0r years since my hp din ring for a whole dae le.! feel so uncomforatable la. ha. tats all. oh yeah.! i tink my parents rox la.! the bez in the entire world. dey r so damn farnie.! so cool. im gonna grow up n be like dem.! =P n im still dyin to go out.!!!! plss... someone plss... hahas. =D

galvin~ hey its gd to hear tt u r almost off the bridge le. hahas.. jia you! =D
to everyone else~ live everydae to the fullest n remember to smile.! cos u wun knoe hu is fallin in love wif ur smile.! =PP

<3 me if youu dare-`

Saturday, March 05, 2005
13:22

okies. i hang out till bout 11 plus ytd nitez. whee~ its been l0ng.! by the time i reach h0me its errmm midnight?! l0lx. and m0m. i can live w/o a guy. i dun nid a guy to escort mi home all the time. so dun worry. yeps. though it felt different g0in h0me late w/o u but i guess it juz haf to be this way. though i wish ya cld send mi h0me 0nce m0re but i guess its its time f0r independence.! =D
ha. i met ther gers f0r dinner.! but swt nt dere. s0 sad la. she gt gb meeting.! =( nvm.! we can meet up next week agn. its great gg out wif ya peeps.! and yah.! i'm angry la.! c0s i din get t0 buy my flesh imp jacket!!!!!! c0s the design tt i wanted has been s0ld 0ut.! arrggghh. =_( *bitex*
after dinner, we went to play p00l at tp sn00ker z0ne. met jane n her frens dere.! hahas. p00l r0x.! i'm n0w a p00l fan n m0vie addict.! hahas. nt l0ng later clar.vern.sean.edwin.justin.ian j0in us. =P l0lx. managed t0 learn guess ya haven been c0min 0nline recently. hahas. muz be enj0yin urself ba. i'm nt sure. but i'm praying tt u will be happie every single dae. abit 0f p00l fr0m dem.! thanks guys.! n yeah tt vide0 clip is RA la. =x g0sh.

h0me f0r n0w. i wish i can find s0me0ne t0 g0 0ut wif. l0lx.

guess ya haven been c0min 0nline recently. i guess u r enjoyin urself ba. i'm nt sure. i'm juz prayin tt u will be happy every single day n take things easy. i suppose u stop readin all these entries le. no idea. but i'm juz g0nna c0n't writing short notes to u everydae to let u knoe tt i still care for u as a fren n if u nid a listening ear i will be dere. n0mateer where n when. take care.!

<3 me if youu dare-`

Friday, March 04, 2005
13:55

reach h0me damn late ytd.!hahas. went t0 c0ca t0 haf dinner wif dads frens n family. and guesswad i might be going finland for 1 week during august for an international camp.! hahas. needa apply leave through sch.! whee~! h0pe i'm able t0 g0.!
0h yeah ytd was a bad dae. first it was the ogl thing. a battle between nyjc and mjc.! o wells. its decided tt i will put mjc first ch0ice. * i paid the amendments fees to do tt* hahas. h0w dumb. next the train tt i was suppse to take gt delayed.! hahas. n went the train came. every0ne squeeze like sardine la.! l0l. n guess wad?! i still reach n0vena the earliest.! =D
was s0 tr0ubled when i was 0n my way from pasir ris t0 n0vena. thank g00dness i gt the k0ala-mel, which he gave mi to accomapny mi. u see. i brought tt stuff toy to sch c0s my bag is rather empty now.
sch's b0ring t0day. the 0nli less0n tt i actuallie pay attention was maths tutorial. the rest slack. was playin cards for like 2 less0ns?!?! hahas. every0ne in my sch is playin n its surprisin tt the teacher aint sayin anithing. =PP mel screams.!! I MISS SHU YI, PEI JUN, GALVIN N CHERMUI LA.!!! i was al0ne standin like an idiot in front of the general office the wh0le m0rn.c0s galvin n shuyi pon sch n peijun decides to come during recess.!! n chermui is withdrawin frm mjc. =( goodness.! g0na miss her l0ads. u tC ger.! okies~ tats all f0r n0w. g0nna meet SLJ f0r dinner.! whee! flesh imp jacket.. here i c0me.!!! next target. 77th street skirt.!!
i guess ya still linger on mind. i cant stop my mind from tinkin of u when i'm alone and how we spent our time together in the past. its sad how things end. but o wells. life has to go on. i just hope u r okies.

<3 me if youu dare-`

Wednesday, March 02, 2005
13:58

guess u haf decided to stop being frens? fren in friendster. gone. testimonials. gone. i dunn0 wad t0 sae.
guess wad seventeen sae is true. i will l0se a fren 0n the 2nd 0f this m0nth n guess wad?! it happen. but this time its nt a she its a he. and it aint farnie.! i mean he was once impt in my life. but n0w. i guess we cant even be frens. and its this tt hurt. if i knew i wld haf l0st my frenship wif ya i wldnt wanna be wif ya last time.! this sux.!!!!!!!!!! freak man.!!! I HATE LOSING A FREN.!

<3 me if youu dare-`